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Sixteen years ago my life changed dramatically in a matter of seconds. I was sitting in one of those sterile, cold, examining rooms when the doctor read the lab report from a mole that had been removed. “Malignant Melanoma, right shoulder,” he said dryly. I was so stunned, I asked him to read it again.
I don’t remember driving home that day. I only remember the first thing I did upon arriving. I picked up the phone and called my mom in Southern California. The words that came out of my mouth felt like they should belong to someone else. “I have cancer mom. I’m scared.” I was a thirty-year old mother and my baby had just begun to walk. I was young and looked and felt healthy. So how could I suddenly be facing this unseen enemy that could steal my life away?
During the next few months I underwent tests and had extensive surgery on my shoulder. The day I received the final biopsy report was a very dark one in spite of the fact that it had come back negative and it appeared that I would be OK. However, it was finally safe to face my reality. I had become a member of a group I had no interest in belonging to; a cancer patient. I sat on by backyard deck and looked at my barren rosebushes in the smoldering heat of August. Life felt so fragile and the innocence of my youth was gone forever.
Despite years of research, cancer remains the second leading cause of death in the United States. It takes a horrible toll on families.
But the loss of life does not tell all… behind every diagnosis is another story, stories of great courage, love, hope, and strength.
Life threatening diseases such as cancer can teach us something profound. Cancer taught me to live life more fully. It taught me to stop and wonder, laugh loudly and often with friends and to live with unbridled abundance.
A few years later when I became a hospital chaplain and family therapist, I discovered that my ability to speak from my personal experience of facing a life threatening disease gave me credibility that I otherwise would not have had.
The indomitable beauty and strength of the human spirit has been evident in one of our employees at the Council on Aging who was diagnosed with breast cancer in March. She missed a whole six days of work after a double mastectomy. When she began chemotherapy treatments she shaved her head and now sports a different colorful tattoo on her bald head each morning. Her courage, positive attitude and sense of humor inspired nine of us to attend a fundraiser recently for the Sutter Breast Care Center.
Cancer cells may have the potential to destroy the physical body, but there is something so much greater that can never be swallowed up by this disease, something so potent that it will never surrender to those dysfunctional cells, something that will never die; the tenacity of the human spirit and the hope that sustains it.
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| The December issue of "Sonoma Seniors" is marvelous. Kudos to Bonnie Allen, my leader in political activism, for the production and for the inspiring profiles of Brother Toby and Gene Oliver. Then there was the review by my writing teacher Geets, the story by Brother Toby plus lots and lots of relevant information. Shirley's articles and Blog entries are always worthwhile and well-written. The December entry on Forgiveness and Gratitude was apt for the Season and inspiring. It seems that revenge ahd violence are replacing forgiveness and justice. But we can so live that if everyone did the samem, the world would be a better place. |
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| Incredible reflections on cancer and what it means to us as human beings. I too am a survivor and I appreciate Ms. Zane's candid and honest comments on how this inviisible enemy changed her life. Me too!!!! |
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